Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Supported Life 2009 in Sacramento with V

"A Meaningful Life... Are We There Yet?"

We were offered a choice of many different workshops to attend. V and I reviewed the choices and she made her selections for the next two days. V's choices were related to relationships, love and sexuality. I knew her knowledge of these subjects was very immature. Even though she is a grown woman, just turned thirty, in many ways she is just a child.

V's has lived with her parents all her live. As I have developed my friendship with her I realize she has never had someone she felt comfortable with to discuss her questions about life. I feel so honored to be that friend to her.

We had discussed relationships a little and sex even less. The first workshop we attended was called "Relationships...Easy as 1, 2, 3!!" The speakers talked about their own relationships with family members and with husbands. It was somewhat entertaining. The highlight of the trip was the next day, we went to a 2 part workshop given by Dave Hingsburger. We didn't know who he was but many people told us we would love him.


We attended the two workshops on sexuality and relationships by Dave Hingsburger and I was very impressed. He was awesome. He spoke about relationships and the need that people with disabilities have of being loved and wanted. Of relationships that were sexual, but were much more than that. He spoke of the state of comfortable companionship that is offered in loving relationships and needs to be thought about, talked about, taught about. He told us in a world of so many artificial connections, real ones can sometimes be taken for granted.

Throughout the two hours of wonderful stories, some making everyone laugh and some making us cry, I could see the confusion in V's face. So many questions running through her head. She wanted to understand why everyone laughed, what those words Dave Hingsburger said in his talk meant.

Saturday afternoon, we boarded Amtrak heading home. V says "Can I ask you a question?" I said of course! I had no idea what the next 2 hours discussion would entail!! (good thing I am not shy!!) First question was "What is phone sex?" Next one... "What ejaculation? Why do people like sex? What is sex? What is kinky?" and many more..... I answered each one the best I could... getting as graphic as I needed...

I would love to do what Dave Hingsburger did that day for that room full of people. What a wonderful person...